Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Beautiful Danger

swans sing
the rising darkness
deliberates
in siren decibels
listen

waxing gibbous moon
bids
a wick lit
bright, it will not
wane

snuff the flame
treat the swans
to silent days
winging
toward the sun

6 comments:

  1. Astonishing. One of your best. This could even be labeled a tanka sequence per Denis Garrison's definition. I can already feel that it will stay with me for some time to come.

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  2. Brian, you've just validated a "subjected" (term by Neal Whitman) poem. Thank you. Somehow, I'm glad to be able to put it up here, and at this time of year...

    Always,
    Kay

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  3. ...there is a lot of meaning to it. the singing swans, in ancient mythology meaning a menacing death - the constellation of stars - cygnus... I am a bit cold now, the sirens' decibel made me shiver....

    great poem
    gabriele

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  4. Dear Lady Gabriele, I will try to write a warmer poem for you. Thank you for your understanding.

    Always,
    Kay

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  5. Kay, your use of one-word lines (verbs) is impressive.

    Nicely done.

    Chen-ou

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  6. Many thanks, Chen-ou. Your comment has lifted my spirits. :)

    ~Kay

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