Really interesting how you've woven the "on" rhyme unexpectedly into a cinquain. You wouldn't necessarily see it on the page but you can't miss hearing it. I think you would have made Ms. Crapsey blink!
The implied contrast/comparison is effectiveKay, this poem makes me smile. Thanks for sharing.Look forward to reading more of your poem.Happy New Year!Chen-ou
Chen-ou, as fate seems to repeat, we are online in tandem. What a grand way to begin the new year. Thanks for your smile and kind words.Brian, as usual, you found something I didn't know was there... I had to re-read my poem 3 times to find the rhyme. I wish I could say I was clever enough to have done it on purpose!! Thank you for beginning my year with your compliment.You both made me smile!~Kay