that's my brain
on a train
to looneyville or trucky
booked solid
full of worms glowing too brightly
brainiacs and maniacs
just don't understand it
the drive
the plain site of it
headers topping pages
full of textiled textures
contextual meanings
or imaginative images
straight-lines and curves
spine tingling edgy closures
and dust...
Wow. I don't know how you manage to write like this with all that's going on in your life. Captures the desperation, craziness and pressure currently driving you (literally driving YOU). And did I mention music and rhythm? Splendid engines powering your imagery. Clearly YOU are driving these - masterfully.
ReplyDeleteThat said, you still need to get to bed earlier.
Thanks, Brian. I'm thrilled that you like it. I think it was pent up jabber, and I'm glad it all fell into place!
ReplyDelete~Kay
(You've made my day.)
Kay, I second Brian. And the concluding line is emotionally powerful.
ReplyDeleteI think your poem could be strengthened by searching for an alternate title, one that does not repeat any part of the poem text.
Just a thought.
Take care,
Chen-ou
Good point, Chen-ou. I think I started with the title and just typed. I didn't notice the repetition until today...
ReplyDeleteI could always use "Paper Planes." LOL. I'll think on it.
Count down the days with me--7, 7 days left in the term. As "The Count" on Sesame Street would say... "Ah, ha ha ha ha!"
~A Looney poet...
November 30, 2010 7:17 PM
How's that?
ReplyDelete:o)
Kay,
ReplyDeleteI like the new title.
Good luck with your studies.
Best,
Chen-ou