Saturday, August 7, 2010

Hiding

buffalo senses
tenses
silent as sand
the moccasin
creeps

5 comments:

  1. A sense of suspense is subtly conveyed.

    I enjoyed the read.

    Thanks!

    Chen-ou

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Oops, caught my typos...

    Kay,

    You even have Chen-ou responding with sibilant "esses". LOL

    He's right, they do do give the lines a heightened suspense juxtaposed against the hard consonants that follow.

    Nicely treatment.

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  4. Phew. I began to wonder about the hard "c's" but I could not find better words, for now. It's funny... this poem was hiding in my junk. I began working on something else that wouldn't work. This one seems so out of place right now, but there it is.

    Thank you for your sibling yeses!! :o) ~Kay

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