Monday, August 22, 2011

Queen Anne's Lace

with needle tight
twixt fingers so hungry
to hold a child, she makes the lace
a lattice to cradle a baby's head
but woe to the queen, her maid gives her drink,
the brew of crushed seed taints her lips
now barren, her fingers
drip blood and bloom


  1. Kay, I wonder if the poem might work better in the form of a butterfly cinquain, a nine-line syllabic form with the pattern two, four, six, eight, two, eight, six, four, two.

    Just a thought.


  2. Kay, You are so good at spinning a yarn. The final "nothing" stops the reader dead in his/her tracks, a combined effect of rhythmic music, internal rhyme and alliteration. Superbly crafted. One of your best.

  3. Hi Chen-ou, thank you for your suggestion. Somehow, I think the rhythm and build of the poem would be changed by a butterfly cinquain. Actually, I've never written a butterfly cinquain. That will be my next adventure. Stay tuned! It may even be about a butterfly. LOL.

    Brian, your comment makes me smile. I enjoy spinning yarns. I had a friend on Facebook say that I had: "A lesson in history and natural pharmaceuticals all in one poem!" I told her it was historic fiction. LOL.

    Always, Kay