Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Bucked Still

aware
soft grass crinkles
underfoot, earth tremors
the crown, velvet brown tilts up. My!
heart palpates its bone cage
stillness reigns, our
eyes meet
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4 comments:

  1. Chen-ou Liu, 劉鎮歐August 17, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    Comparatively speaking, the language of your cinquains is so dense and image-centric.

    Just a thought.

    Chen-ou

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kay TracyAugust 17, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Hi Chen-ou,

    I do think the cinquain form seems to pull out my poetry in a nice way. I enjoy writing them. I hope I can get in the habit of only posting well-formed poems.

    Always a pleasure to read your thoughts! :)
    ~Kay

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  3. BrianAugust 18, 2011 at 7:07 AM

    Kay, A wonderful poem, the mirror cinquain a perfect vehicle.

    "...the crown, velvet brown tilts up"...I love that.

    Have you read Claire Everett's "The Roe-Buck" at _Lyrical Passion_.? If not, I think you will thrill to how your poems complement one another.

    http://lyricalpassionpoetry.yolasite.com/poetry-corner-of-rhyme.php

    My own humble honouring of both poems:

    Eyes meet
    and sometimes merge
    In green and hidden realms.
    My one desire the secret land
    beneath my feet, this earth
    my first and last
    great love.

    Brian

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kay TracyAugust 18, 2011 at 8:05 AM

    Thank you, Brian. Her poem is exquisite. And yours, a special gift. The form suits you well; it flows effortlessly and each line is complete in itself.

    Thank you again,
    Kay

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